Meditations on Grimace...

I was chatting with a friend the other day about Ronald McDonald (the clown that was the mascot for McDonald's many moons ago) and we started discussing how disturbing the entire cast of characters was for the whole McDonald's campaign back then...

I mean, let's look at your basic 1970's McDonald's characters(R):

Hamburglar - a freakishly big-headed thief... who stole hamburgers.
The Fry Guys - a bunch of strangely colored yarn-type figures... who stole fries.
Mayor McCheese - head of this town apparently rampant with thievery
Birdie - not sure what she ever did... but we had to have a representative for the chicken nuggets on the menu, I guess?
Ronald McDonald - a clown who was the smartest one of the bunch...
Grimace - a big purple.... something? Huh?

In fact, what the hell was Grimace anyway?  According to the McDonald's website: "Grimace is a big, loving, fuzzy purple fellow who is Ronald McDonald's best friend. He's sure Ronald is the world's ultimate authority on everything. While Grimace loves all McDonald's foods, he's absolutely crazy about milkshakes. Grimace is very enthusiastic and eager to try new things. His joyous spirit helps everyone overlook the fact he's a little slow and clumsy sometimes.”

Grimace the...blob?

But before this happy purple bumkin became a "joyous spirit", Grimace was "Evil Grimace" and actually had four arms - with which he was more effectively able to... yes... you got it...  steal more milkshakes. So this makes Grimace perfect for him to fit into the McDonald's lineup of junk-food-stealing hoodlums.

(Geek side note: That seems to have precious little to do with the actual definition of the word (care of the American Heritage Dictionary, 1996 edition): To "grimace" means, "a sharp contortion of the face, expressive of pain, contempt, or disgust.")

Now that I think about it, I would have loved to be in that board room meeting at McDonald's headquarters when the brilliant thought a town full of thievery was received as a fabulous marketing idea to put in front of kids while they're watching their Saturday morning cartoons.  But hey, I watched those guys steal fries, burgers and milkshakes for years, and it hasn't messed me up... too much...